The Collected Thoughts of Chairman Chao
What's a Zen koan? A Jewish Buddhist.
Some people are like school on Thanksgiving -- no class.
So many fears, so little time.
Towels can be harmful if swallowed in large quantities.
Life is a fractal - with dimensions ranging between 5 and 6.
Be a vigilante lover.
Secrets do not become us lest secrets we become.
People are universes.
Never wear your socks in the rain.
I wonder how many people realize that it's the end of the world every minute of the day.
To understand truth, one must doubt truth.
The boss is always wrong in the eyes of the employee.
Petty politics bore me. But that doesn't mean I'm not interested in them.
Everything is permissible. Except when it isn't.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice.
But in
practice, there is.
If your feet are firmly planted on the ground, doesn't that make it rather difficult to take your socks off?
I find a full stomach very spiritual.
Is it just me, or does a high school dance look like a bunch of teens who really need to use the bathroom?
If nudity is outlawed, only outlaws will be nude.
The ugliest thing in the world is an Uno game that gets out of hand.
In space, they can't hear you scream. On Earth, they just don't care.
It's a bad era for philosophers.
Most of the problems with sex come from the fact that most people insist that it doesn't exist.
Sex is what you put into it. No pun intended.
Losing your mind is trying to make shadow-puppets with your tongue.
Happiness is not giving a flying fuck.
There are two forces in the universe - fear and stupidity.
Fear
prevents things from happening and stupidity allows them to happen.
Everytime I leave somewhere, a part of me dies.
The pen is mightier than the sword, but only at a range of more than two arm-lengths.
Remember, Jesus loves you. But Eris is better in bed.
Never apologize for who you are - it's all you have.
Reality has very little to do with the real world.